Sections SEARCH Skip to content Skip to site index Subscribe Log In Smarter Living | What to Say (and What Not to Say) to Someone Who’s Grieving Crowdwise Credit Credit Graham Roumieu Supported by ByDavid Pogue Feb. 14, 2019 Do you laugh when someone’s grocery bag bursts? Do you find yourself stealing cabs? Have you shouted at puppies? If you answered yes to any of these, then you may have Empathy Deficit Disorder. For this Crowdwise, I asked you to recount some helpful things people said or did when you were in mourning — and to share some things that were decidedly unhelpful. Your responses make it clear that Empathy Deficit Disorder (not a real condition, but maybe it should be) has reached epidemic proportions: “After our daughter was stillborn,” wrote Wendy Thomas, “a colleague told me I shouldn’t have used the photocopy machine.” “My first … [Read more...] about What to Say (and What Not to Say) to Someone Who’s Grieving
When person dies what to say
Editor's note: This story originally ran in August after the deaths of designer Kate Spade and chef Anthony Bourdain. We're reposting after the suicide death of the brother of Dallas Cowboy Michael Gallup to offer resources as well as warning signs. The recent suicides of designer Kate Spade and chef Anthony Bourdain are among 45,000 such deaths that take place every year. Some who die are, like them, rich and famous. Others are poor and unknown. Some are old. Some are young. Some deaths come as a surprise; others, not so.Whatever the case, those left behind are left reeling. Was there something we could have done? Something we could have said? When loved ones seem depressed or we fear they may be contemplating suicide, we're often at a loss. Experts say one of the best ways to help may sound basic, but can save lives: communication. Talk. Listen. Be there."In general in our society, identifying depression and talking … [Read more...] about What to say to loved ones who might be at risk of suicide
Elvis Presley died on August 16, 1977. It took more than a week for Lester Bangs’s obituary to appear, but it was worth the wait to watch the passionate critic zero in with trademark intimacy: “Where were you when Elvis died? What were you doing, and what did it give you an excuse to do with the rest of your day? That’s what we’ll be talking about in the future when we remember this grand occasion. Like Pearl Harbor or JFK’s assassination, it boiled down to individual reminiscences, which is perhaps as it should be, because in spite of his greatness blah blah blah, Elvis had left us each as alone as he was; I mean, he wasn’t exactly a Man of the People anymore, if you get my drift. If you don’t I will drift even further, away from Elvis into the contemplation of why all our public heroes seem to reinforce our own solitude.” (That last line fascinates on its own merits, but even more so considering the serendipity of the Voice’s … [Read more...] about Where Were You When Elvis Died?
A husband who killed himself left behind a letter for his devastated wife telling her what to do with her life after his death. Emma Picton-Jones sobbed as she read the note after it was handed to her by police following her partner Dan's suicide two years ago. In it, the dad-of-two, who had struggled with mental health issues for years, wrote: "You couldn’t help me, but you could help someone else'. Emma has read the letter just twice since she lost her husband, but she has since set up a charity in his name and has dedicated her life to helping others with their own struggles, WalesOnline reports. She said: “Everything happened so quickly. The police came that afternoon and he’d left a really long note. The police brought it down and I remember sitting at the kitchen table and I remember the police woman sitting opposite me. I remember having it in front of me and just sobbing and sobbing. “I think I’ve only read it twice since then but there was a … [Read more...] about Dad who killed himself left note telling wife what to do with her life
WHAT happens when you die? This is a question many of us have asked ourselves, but is there any way of knowing the answer? By Ariane Sohrabi-Shiraz / Published 3rd August 2018 What happens when you die and what happens after death are of life’s biggest questions. Of course, no one can really know what happens after death – but many have theories about it.For example, hospice and palliative care physician at the University of California Dr B J Miller told Oprah Winfrey: “I’ve been around people who are just about to die, bodies that have just died, and there is a lingering sense. There’s a lingering.”He continue, saying the moment of death is quite ordinary: “I’ve been around folks who, I’ll be sitting there talking with their family and we’re having a conversation, and the person dies in the middle of a conversation. And it’s seamless.“It’s almost gorgeously… mundane. It’s just, they … [Read more...] about What happens when you die? What really happens after death?